So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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