We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
