you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
