never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
