But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
