nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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