I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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