i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
