its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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