No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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