just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
