Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
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