Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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