Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
