I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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