worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
