Swine flu. Run for my life!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
