Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
