Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
