just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
