this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
