Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
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