Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
