She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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