Are we in a gay sports bar?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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