Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
