i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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