STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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