Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Randomize
