I hate all girls vehemently.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
