my mouth tastes like poor choices
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
