is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
