oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
