they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
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