Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
be right there i have to get my cape
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
