Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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