i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
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