Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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