I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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