this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
he had hair everywhere except his balls
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
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