hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
