i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
