Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
