this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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