i just had sex bonerless
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
