sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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