brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
And then he peed in my hair
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