I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
