1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
