what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
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