grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
