fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
