is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
