do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
is this the sara with the beer cane?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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