I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Randomize
