Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
