it hurts more in the daytime
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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